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Inside Politics

Uber Serial Killer Sought.

Random white people interviewed about Uber’s stuff.

Police have learned that a serial killer, disguised as an Uber driver has been terrorizing the residents of San Francisco. The company is withholding comment but residents are expressing grave concern about the matter.

"We trust our cabbies." Said Angelina Rogers, a local woman who uses Uber frequently. "I can’t imagine what would happen if I couldn’t trust my drivers." And so is the sentiment of many area residents. Uber, the company that has already attracted much criticism, can’t foresee every crime its drivers might commit. And, yet, it’s expected to. "When I call a cab on the phone," said Walnetta Edelstein, "I know they are going to be there on time and after a background check. The whole app thing, I don’t know, they might not even know my neighborhood."

Regulators have expressed increasing concern about the company which has been accused of violating laws in many cities across the US. Interestingly though, no customers have voiced concern, until now. "I just thought it was a bunch of vested interests." Said Anjelica Pashmina. "I didn’t even know what that meant until I saw that episode of West Wing...but now that they be killin’ people..." And can Uber really be held responsible? City officials think they can be.

"Uber has the responsibility," said Toby Engel, a city councilman, " ensure the non-psychopathic nature of its employees." They should be doing as much research as the phone people." And so, the sentiment seems to vindicate the city government. It seems that now that there is a body count, Uber’s case has grown that much more difficult.

So far, the victims have been young, drunk females. But given the city’s propensity to appear drunk and female, everyone is worried. "I make a living pretending to be female" said Darnell Cline. "...but if it’s going to get me killed, then I could just stop for a while. Or not take Uber. I hope this guy isn’t picking up fares/victims any other way."

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